Wilted Flower & Cigarettes

filmed by Safar

The pain. The sorrow. The hurt.

Its raining outside. I lit a cigarette thinking it will numb me for a second but I don't find any relief. Things are rushing to me at a debilitating speed. I am cowering under the immense feelings. I let out a silent scream hoping it reaches out to somebody but here I am alone with the half-lit cigarette. There is longing of something that i am inacable of putting into words. Why do I feel so intensly and so powerless. I want to reach out to somebody, anybody but its like I am sitting on the mound of dead mountain. I see evrything around me is dying and I am racing to save something, anything? I am late. I can't reach out.

You crossed my mind. You are a nameless, faceless force that is calling my name but I can't see you. It is driving me insane. I feel you. I can smell you . I long to touch you but I can't. You will destroy me, I know this much but I want to be destroyed. I want to be reborn bathed in your aroma. I want to destroy you like you would. I want to tear you apart and feel something. I want to inflict the same pain that I am feeling right now. Am I going insane?